The first day of kindergarten can be challenging for both parents and children. For parents, they may worry about their child’s emotional state and safety in a new school. Children may feel scared of the new people and unfamiliar environment and not understand why their loved ones aren’t allowed to come with them. Children may cry, scream or cling to parents when being dropped at the school gate and parents may feel the urge to cling to their child when seeing them in such emotional distress. Parents need to remember that separation anxiety is a normal response in kindergarten students and that there are steps you can take to help ease your child’s discomfort.

Before your child’s first day

If you can, visit the school with your child before their first day. Play together in the classroom and introduce your child to their new teachers. Your child will see your positive interactions with the teachers and feel comforted. Show your enthusiasm for things in the classroom like toys, books and art materials to show your child that school is fun and something to look forward to.

The morning of your child’s first day

Having a morning routine is essential for easing the transition into school life. A morning routine allows children to know what is coming next and leaves no surprises or sudden changes that can create an unstable mood.

Explain to your child what their day will look like, from leaving the house together, drop-off, their school day, when you will pick them up, and what you will do together after school. Making future plans helps your child feel comforted in knowing they will see you again.

When dropping your child at the school gate, stick with the agreed-upon plan and don’t prolong the goodbye. If you give an extra-long hug or stay with them for too long, they may feel your anxiety and worry that something bad is going to happen. By being positive, firm and relaxed you will communicate to them that everything is okay.

After school

Talk to your child about their day. Students might not remember all the details so use prompts such as photos sent by the class teacher or class work they have brought home to discuss. Ask positive questions and avoid any negative-framing questions like “Were you nervous?” or “Did you cry?”. 

Long term

Some children may be very excited on their first day at the thought of new toys, friends and games and may run through the doors of kindergarten without so much as a look back. Be aware that they still may feel separation anxiety a few days later when it settles in that they must go every day. 

Communicate with your child’s class teacher to find out how long the anxiety lasts or if there are certain times of the day when your child’s emotions are unstable. Working together with the teacher will help build a larger picture of your child’s emotional state.

The most important thing is listening to your child’s worries and empathising with their emotions. This is a big change in their life and feelings of fear, panic and worry are understandable. Showing them you acknowledge their feelings, sticking to your agreed-upon routines and communicating with the class teacher will help your child take their first steps in their education journey.