Many people have something they think they’re bad at, so they might say ‘I can’t do maths’ or ‘I’m terrible at navigating.’ This is how we speak if we have a fixed mindset, i.e. we believe our abilities have a set limit, beyond which we can’t progress. The downside of this way of thinking is that it can stop us trying. 

We want to be especially careful when we hear young people say things that suggest they have a fixed mindset as it can affect the direction they take in life. The truth is, we all have different natural aptitudes for things, but we can improve with the right teacher, tools, or timing. Students who say they’re bad at maths can grow to love it given the right encouragement. A growth mindset is the best way to stay open to new opportunities to learn. Here are some tips to help your child build a growth mindset:

Embrace failure

This sounds counterintuitive, but failures should be acknowledged and learned from to build a growth mindset. As a family, try a low-stakes activity that none of you is an expert at, and enjoy trying your best. If you go rock climbing, for instance, you could demonstrate feeling scared and uncomfortable but still pushing ahead, and if you slip, you can show how important it is to try again.

Learn about people’s journeys

When we hear about talented academics, athletes, and entertainers, it’s usually because they’re at the top of their fields. They look like someone naturally destined for their success. But learning more about their journey, through books, movies and articles, can teach us about the struggles they had to overcome. Help your child research their idols’ backstories so they can learn that everyone faces difficulties on the road to success.

Praise effort instead of outcome

This is especially important in younger children, who develop skills at very different rates to their peers. A child might be top of their class in maths in P4 but stall in their understanding of the subject in P5. They can become demotivated if they stop receiving any praise despite putting in as much effort as always. This might lead them to stop trying, thereby losing the possibility they had of a spurt in their understanding in P6 taking them to the top of the class again.

Encourage growth-based language

When people in your household talk about their fixed abilities, saying things like ‘I’m bad at drawing’ or ‘I can never get up on time’, encourage them to speak in a different way. It feels a bit awkward at first, but it really does have an impact. Instead of saying ‘I’m terrible at grammar’, someone can say ‘I’ve not yet got the hang of the grammar we’re learning this year.’ Switch ‘I’m bad at sports’ to ‘I haven’t found the sport for me yet.’ We should even try to use this trick with praise, so instead of saying ‘You’re talented at Putonghua so you get top marks’, we can say ‘Your hard work with Putonghua is really paying off!’

These small changes can encourage those around us to keep trying their best, and that’s the clearest path to success.